Jeff and Ashley Lamb

I can’t believe we’ve already been married for a year! And what a crazy year it has been. With so many ups and downs, unfortunately mostly downs, I don’t know what I would have done without Jeff by my side the entire time. I can’t think of anyone I would rather spend it with, either. This time last year, we were on an amazing trip and staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast in Destin. One year and one day ago, Jeff proposed to me on the beach in the moonlight. One year ago today, we were at the court house saying “I do”. One year from now (maybe a little after), we will be having our formal ceremony. To others, it may seem like we’re moving fast but to us, we aren’t. When you know that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it doesn’t matter how fast or slow you move. As Jeff so sweetly said about the night he proposed, “Remember that 50 years from now I’ll always feel the same way that I felt that night”. Well, babe, we have one year down and a lifetime to go. I am ready and willing and can’t wait to continue spending the rest of our lives together. I can’t see myself with anyone other than you, my best friend, my one and only, my hero, my husband.

This year has been both amazing and terrible but I will be happy when it’s finally done and over with, even though nothing will have changed. It
started out with Jeff and I getting married in January. Then we left Florida in April to spend some time in Vegas before he had to go to training. We were apart for a little over a month then moved to California in June where we have a great house that we have definitely made our own. We both turned 21 this year, too. Then, in August, it happened. The worst day of either of our lives thus far. It still seems like it was just yesterday…I can remember almost every detail and I just want to erase it all and go back to the day before to save her. Needless to say, the holidays this year weren’t as enjoyable as they usually are. And this is just the first of many. Looking at my youngest sister it was almost like looking at her again. They are so much alike in appearance that it’s almost scary, but it’s also kind of nice. I’m hoping this gets easier for us but I know that it’s going to take a long time before that happens. I just hope that she is happy and at peace now. She was a self-proclaimed people pleaser and now it’s her turn to be happy, even if it means that we don’t get to have her here with us.

I am so tired of all the crazy BS that a certain someone is spewing and those who are letting her do it. I have literally done nothing to them. I don’t say that casually like “oh yeah, I didn’t do anything”…I have honestly and sincerely not done one single thing to anyone yet I’m being shunned and called names. I just don’t understand. Things were finally starting to get to be okay. I was almost to the point of being kind of all right and then this new site springs up. I just want to be left out of it. I just want to grieve my sister and live in her memory, which apparently very few others are doing.

Sissy, your true friends know what our relationship was like and the ones who are saying otherwise never saw us together or knew how close we were. You, along with Sheridan and Tristann, have and will always mean the world to me, no matter what some jealous, guilt ridden, insignificant person has to say about it. You are seeing everything unfold and now everyone’s true colors and ugly lies are coming out into the open. I wish you hadn’t done this, for many reasons. At the same time, I know that you felt it was your only way out. I hate that you felt that way but I can almost see how you could, living the way you were. I wish you would have told me the last time we talked. I would have had you come out and lived with us for a little while and you know mom and grandma would take you in, too.

I miss you so much. I broke down the other day, for the first time in a long time, but I needed it. I think that’s what made me feel like things were getting slightly better. Then today. That stupid website and all of the false information on it got me all worked up. I already think about you a million times a day but to have the added pain of being called such horrible names and the presence of hurtful statements that I can’t believe are yours made me fall even deeper into darkness. I started bawling in the shower. Jeff came home and comforted me and sat with me. I don’t know what I would do without him. He misses you and thinks about you alot, too, but he has been incredibly strong for me.

I hope you know how much we love you. Always have, always will. I just ask that you make her stop or, at least, give us the strength to deal with all of the madness.

We spent the weekend in Vegas for the USMC birthday ball and we had a blast! I don’t think either of us have gotten that little sleep in so few days. The ball was on Thursday night at the Rio and was set up nicely. Jeff looked amazing, of course, in his dress blues complete with ribbons and medals. I felt like a princess, with my hair done at a salon and an amazing dress with beautiful makeup (both thanks to Summer). There were about 300 people there but it wasn’t crowded at all. The food was pretty good and there was a great guest speaker. We were seated at one of the two tables for the corpsmen with some awesome, fun people.

After dinner, Jeff and I, along with two of our friends, went to the Blue Man Group show. It was definitely interesting but I thought it was fun. We walked the strip some, stopping at a bar or two, then we headed back to the Rio where we ran into some friends who also attended the ball. We had a few drinks then ate either a very late dinner or a very early breakfast (it was about 2am). The rest of the weekend was filled with going out, going to bed very late, waking up late and some family time. I have to say, it was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a very long time.

We had a great weekend in Julian! It is quite possibly the cutest little town ever. It’s a small town in the mountains near San Diego that was established during the gold rush. There are a few mines there that offer tours but we didn’t get the chance to visit one this time. They are all about apples in that town though. “Julian Apple Cider” is a big deal and, after tasting some, I can see why. We ended up bringing home a half gallon of boysenberry apple cider and it is delicious! With how many orchards they have, I can see why they offer so many different kinds of apple dishes. There seriously was apple pie at just about every restaurant and some even have other things like apple dumplings, apple tarts, apple danish–just about apple anything. Everyone there is so nice and there are so many little stores to shop in. We came back with quite a few goodies : ) Another popular thing there is homemade soaps and lotions. Those people in Julian are quite crafty. We stayed in a “cabin” (it was basically a shortened single-wide trailer) about 20 miles away from Julian. It was about a half hour drive to town but it was a beautiful one. We were in the mountains of a national forest and there were hardly any buildings around so the views were amazing. We want to go back in the Winter time when there will be snow up there : )