Jeff and Ashley Lamb

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

From my Facebook. Posted on August 13, 2014, 2 days after Robin Williams’ death.

There has been a lot of negativity surrounding the passing of Robin Williams. Comments have been made calling him “selfish” and “cowardly”, among other things. People are wondering why he would do this. After all, he was famous, wealthy, loved around the world. None of that means anything. 

Depression doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care that you should be happy or that you want to be happy. Depression is not an on/off switch. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Yes, there are things that can help but they may not always be successful. These are all things that the people doing the name calling do not understand. I’m willing to bet these people have never battled depression themselves or lost someone to it. If they had, they probably wouldn’t be so quick to make such judgmental comments. I won’t lie, there was a time that I also believed suicide was selfish and cowardly. Then my world changed and I got educated. It’s sad that that’s what it took but it’s the truth.

The excessive media coverage is also unhelpful. How can his family be expected to grieve properly? Really, the grieving process is lifelong but this initial time is very important and they deserve some privacy. Yes, he was known worldwide and the world should be informed but anything beyond that is unnecessary. The media has also gone overboard in their description of his death. We really don’t need to know every detail of how he took his life. For some, myself included, it brings up painful images and memories that no one should ever have to experience.

I’ve also been thinking about all those who are grieving that didn’t know him. I was pretty upset at finding out about his passing, especially the method. Is it weird to mourn the loss of a stranger? Then I thought about it. I don’t think it’s strange to feel sadness over the loss of someone who brought so much joy and happiness and laughter to the world.

While he is now no longer in pain and no longer battling his own personal demons, the world is definitely a darker place in his absence. My thoughts go out to his family and loved ones. May he rest in peace.

Well, here we are. Another year has gone by. Once again, I feel like not a whole lot has happened. This seems strange to say because you’d think quite a bit would happen in the time span of 365 days.

I was hired last March at a veterinary clinic in Palm Springs. I loved it there but after 10 months of driving an hour each way, it got old. In November I was hired full time at a clinic half as far away. I am learning so much here on top of everything that I learned at my previous clinic. I have 2 1/2 semesters left of school. I can’t wait until I have my degree. The fact that it’s something I love doing is pretty amazing, too. Not everyone can say that they love their career choice.

Tristann turned 10 in November. Weird. She’s still doing Girl Scouts and loving it. She is the smartest, funniest little child I know. Sheridan turned 13 in December. Even weirder. She is a cheerleader at her middle school. I love watching them grow up and can’t wait to see them grow some more.

Jeff and I got official orders for our next duty station. FINALLY! We leave this awful place for Great Lakes, Illinois, on June 7th. We’re going to hang out in Vegas for about a month before we actually leave. It’ll be nice to be home with everyone for more than just a weekend.

Wedding planning is in full swing, once again. We will be having our formal ceremony and reception on May 4th AKA Star Wars Day : P I let Jeff pick the date, in case you couldn’t have guessed. We have actually gotten quite a bit done in not so much time. I’m pretty proud of us.

Well, I guess I’ve been slacking. It’s been almost an entire year since I last put my thoughts down in writing, so to speak. It doesn’t feel like much has happened but, looking back, I guess alot has happened. I can definitely say that I have grown over the last year, both from the good and bad that have taken place. I’m glad to say that things have been mostly good. Mostly.

Where to begin…I guess I’ll start with this same time last year. I started my online vet tech program in mid-January last year and am starting my fourth semester today. It’s been going pretty well so far. I started out slow so that I could get into the hang of the whole online thing and this semester will be my first full semester of four classes. I have learned so much from the classes that I have already taken and find myself getting excited as each new semester nears. I’m glad I’m enjoying it because I can’t see myself doing something if I hate it.

Jeff was deployed to Japan from June until December of last year. He was able to do and see alot while he was there, including climbing Mount Fuji. He says he hated it but I think part of him enjoyed being somewhere different and getting to know his Marines better. He came back with some new friends…well, new to me anyway. I’m glad that he has people that he can connect with and hang out with here. When he got back to the states, he had about three weeks off which we spent in Vegas, of course. It was great to be able to be back home for so long with him.

Sheridan started middle school this year. We were worried about how she would do because she’s so sensitive but she seems to be adjusting well. She’s learning the violin and has joined the dance team at school. She’s a procrastinator, just like me, and is the typical girly pre-teen.

Tristann joined Girl Scouts this year and no one could be more excited than me. I LOVE Girl Scout cookies and am helping her as much as I can when it comes to her selling them. She’s doing so well getting all of the different patches and doing the fundraisers. She was the top seller for nuts last year and was awarded a patch that only she got, and she’s the newest member of the troop.

In July, we took a trip to San Diego for Brittany’s birthday. She had planned on coming out to California to visit over the summer last year and we were going to go to the zoo and the beach, among other things. We made the trip over a long weekend and took the dogs with us. It was Patton’s first time at the beach and she didn’t seem to care for it. It was nice to get away and to do something for Britt.

At the end of August, after a visit to Vegas, I was headed back to Twentynine Palms when I rolled the Jeep. It was my first accident and was terrifying. I came out of it with minimal injuries, just a slight concussion and some stitches to my thumb, but it scared me pretty bad. The worst part of the whole ordeal was that Patton was missing in the middle of the desert and over night. I didn’t care that I was hurt, I was so scared that we would never get her back. Thank goodness we did though. I would be devastated if we hadn’t. Jeff was pretty upset but was glad that we were okay. Now we have two cars, which makes things alot easier on us. Jeff got his dream Jeep, that he’s very happy with, and I got a great little Saturn that’s perfect for me.

So, that’s how our past year has been. Mostly good sprinkled with a little bad. Overall, not so bad.

I can’t believe we’ve already been married for a year! And what a crazy year it has been. With so many ups and downs, unfortunately mostly downs, I don’t know what I would have done without Jeff by my side the entire time. I can’t think of anyone I would rather spend it with, either. This time last year, we were on an amazing trip and staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast in Destin. One year and one day ago, Jeff proposed to me on the beach in the moonlight. One year ago today, we were at the court house saying “I do”. One year from now (maybe a little after), we will be having our formal ceremony. To others, it may seem like we’re moving fast but to us, we aren’t. When you know that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it doesn’t matter how fast or slow you move. As Jeff so sweetly said about the night he proposed, “Remember that 50 years from now I’ll always feel the same way that I felt that night”. Well, babe, we have one year down and a lifetime to go. I am ready and willing and can’t wait to continue spending the rest of our lives together. I can’t see myself with anyone other than you, my best friend, my one and only, my hero, my husband.

This year has been both amazing and terrible but I will be happy when it’s finally done and over with, even though nothing will have changed. It
started out with Jeff and I getting married in January. Then we left Florida in April to spend some time in Vegas before he had to go to training. We were apart for a little over a month then moved to California in June where we have a great house that we have definitely made our own. We both turned 21 this year, too. Then, in August, it happened. The worst day of either of our lives thus far. It still seems like it was just yesterday…I can remember almost every detail and I just want to erase it all and go back to the day before to save her. Needless to say, the holidays this year weren’t as enjoyable as they usually are. And this is just the first of many. Looking at my youngest sister it was almost like looking at her again. They are so much alike in appearance that it’s almost scary, but it’s also kind of nice. I’m hoping this gets easier for us but I know that it’s going to take a long time before that happens. I just hope that she is happy and at peace now. She was a self-proclaimed people pleaser and now it’s her turn to be happy, even if it means that we don’t get to have her here with us.